When the Akatsuki get a cat
by Iris7770
Summary: Title says it all, when Tobi finds a small grey cat in the forest
1. Chapter 1

My first Fanfic

random idea when i got bored

Disclaimer: i sadly don't own the Akatsuki but i do own the cat

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"DAMMIT TOBI HURRY UP, UN!" 

'hang on senpai!"

Tobi emerged from a bush carry a small grey furry thing.

" ...what is that, un"

"it's a mouse!" and shoved the 'mouse' at Deidara

" ...Tobi...it's a cat..., un"

"... no it's not, it's a mouse"

"cat"

"mouse"

"cat"

"mouse"

"cat"

"mouse"

"Tobi... IT'S _**NOT**_ A FUCKING MOUSE, UN!"

"SENPAI'S BEEN HANGING AROUND WITH HIDAN!"

Deidara was on the verge of killing Tobi...

"...Senpai...?"

" Tobi, lets just get back to the base, un"

"okay!"

as Deidara led the way Tobi followed behind him happily carrying the cat, when they reached the base Deidara walked up to the giant boulder made a few handsigns and then the boulder moved creating an entrance

" Hey, your back!"

"No Shit sherlock, un"

"senpai don't be mean to Kisame-san"

"..."

"Dammit Sasori why did u have to die and leave me with this idiot!, un"

"Senpai...your know your talking outloud, right?"

"...shut up Tobi, un"

"Okay!" Chirped Tobi a bit too happily

"Hey, Kisame-san look what i found!"

"cute cat"

at that moment Hidan, Itachi, and Kakuzu walked in

"it's a mouse"

"Tobi it's a cat"

"nuh uh, Kisame it's a mouse"

"Tobi, it's a cat"

"mouse"

"cat"

"mouse"

"cat"

"mouse"

"cat"

"mouse"

"mouse"

"cat"

"Ha! u admitted it's a cat!"

"U TRICKED ME KISAME-SAN!"

"so..."

"..."

"Hidan-san!, look what i found"

"piss off Tobi"

"..."

Tobi walked away from Hidan

"Kakuzu-san!, look what i found!"

"how much is it worth?"

"..."

"Itachi-san look what i found!"

Itachi didn't even glance at him, Tobi ran up to him and shoved the cat in his face

"look what i found Itachi-san"

"Tobi i could see it perfectly fine from across the room"

"but look how cute it is!"

"ASK HIM WHAT IT IS ITACHI!" Kisame shouted from across the room knowing what the outcome would be

"..."

"it's a mouse Itachi-san"

"hn"

"..."

"DAMMIT UCHIHA JUST ASK HIM!" the Jashinist joined in

"hn"

"Itachi u ass just ask him" The Jashinist hissed at the Uchiha

"fine, Tobi what is it" Itachi said in his normal monotone tone

"It's a mouse!"

"hn"

"Itachi u know damn well it's not a fucking mouse now tell him what the little shit really is!" Hidan once again told the Uchiha, Itachi sighed knowing what they were trying to get him to do to Tobi but asked anyway since he knew they wouldn't leave him alone until he did.

"Tobi it's a cat"

"...mouse"

"Tobi..." Itachi looked up but Tobi didn't notice his sharingan swirling

"Tobi what is it now?"

"still a mouse, geez u guys can't tell the difference between a cat and a mouse"

"...Tobi" The Uchiha was getting impatient with the masked boy

"what"

"it's a cat"

"it's a mouse"

"Tobi just say cat"

"but it's a mou-"

"TSUKI-"

"CAT, CAT IT'S A CAT!" Tobi yelled panicing

"hn" Itachi Said...hn'ed, his sharingan returned to his normal obsidian colored eyes.

"Tobi we have to report to Leader-sama about our mission, un"

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so how was it good, bad , ...etc

I'll try and get the next page up soon

anyways

R&R please


	2. Chapter 2

**That took longer then i expected... i'm not very good at writing and ...well ya...**

**Anyways Enjoy!**

**disclaimer: id o not own naruto...**

* * *

"was the mission succesful?"

"yup!"

"Tobi, i was talking to Deidara..."

"hai, the mission was succesful, we also retrieved the scroll, un"

Deidara lazily tossed the scroll at Pein who caught it with ease.

"you may leave"

"hai, (un)"

"i guess the mission was succesful"

"once again, no shit sherlock, un"

"senp-"

"shut it Tobi, un"

"Oi Kisame, Tobi left the cat with you...where is it?, un"

"ummm..."

"KISAME YOU DIDN'T EAT IT DID YOU?!"

"Tobi i don't eat cats..."

"then where is it?"

"ummm..."

"Kisame?"

"ummm... heh heh...i sorta lost it, sorry Tobi"

"Tobi i'm sure it's fine..., un"

"HOW WOULD YOU KNOW THAT?!"

"cus' it's right there, un" Deidara points at the cat who was sleeping on Itachi who apparently seemed alseep on the couch...

"oh..."

"ok, now that we've found the cat i'm pretty sure it needs to eat, un"

"they do..."

"...yes Tobi cats need to eat, un"

"ok then..."

"...Tobi your an idiot, un"

"i know!"

"Tobi it's not something to be proud of..."

"it isn't Kisame-san?"

"..., you are an idiot"

"...someone needs to go get the food and i vote Kisame, un"

" WHY ME!?"

"here's a hint...idiot" points at Tobi who appears to be chasing his tail...

"O.o"

"so are you gunna get the cat food Kisame?, un"

"...fine"

"ok then...what do cats eat..."

"sir, can i help you?"

"yeah, what do cats eat?"

"so...?"

"sir...are you stupid or mentally challenged?"

Kisame reaches for his samehada...

"ummm!!, cats eat cat food..."

"i knew that..."

"then why are you in the dogs section?"

"maybe i also have a dog"

umm... ok but then why are you holding a bag containing of 7 goldfish?"

"...then if your so smart why don't you get everything i need"

"ok..." the employee walks off with a list that Kisame magically has

"heh heh, idiot" Kisame walks out of the store with 5 bags of cat food

"HEY GET BACK HERE!! YOU HAVEN'T PAID YET!!" the manager yells at Kisame, then walks over to a few ridicously oversized buttons that say Dobermans, Rotweilers, Great Danes, Golden Retrievers, Dalmatians, Pomeranians, Chihuahuas, and Pigs...

"hey you" points at random person walking by "which one should i pick?"

"ummm... i'd go with th-"

"great idea!"and chooses the button that says pigs...

"...i was going to sa-"

"oh you were going to say Golden Retriever? alright" and he picks the one that says golden retriever...

"...no i was going to say tha-"

"oh, you wanted me to pick Pomeranians?...alright..." and you should get it by now...

"...no i said go wi-"

"you ment to say cats?"

"..." and the random person walks over to the row of buttons and picks the one that says Dobermans...

"why dobermans?"

"because the chihuahuas will get stepped on and the rest are just wusses except for the rotweilers..."

the manager dude walks inside and brings out pigs, golden retrievers, great danes, dalmatians, and Pomeranians...

"lets see you deal with them!" Manager dude yells at the random guy who called the dogs and pigs wusses

the dogs and pigs just stare at him...

"...wusses"

the dogs and the pigs turned and glared at the man who called them wusses

...o crap"and he ran with the dogs and of course the pigs right behind him

Kisame started walking back to the base with the stolen cat food and all its stuff

"KISAME-SAN'S BA-"

"SHUT UP TOBI, UN!" Deidara yelled from the couch

"HELLO KISAME-SAN!!"

"TOBI U ASS, STOP YELLING, UN!"

"I CAN'T!"

"AND WHY NOT, UN"

"I MADE A BET WITH HIDAN-SAN"

"TOBI STOP WITH THE SAN ALREADY YOU STUPID MOTHERFUCKER!" Hidan yelled from his room

"HIDAN YOU STUPID ASS SHUT UP!" Kakuzu yelled

"WHY DONT YOU!"

"CUS I'M NOT THE ONE YELLING!"

"...YES YOU ARE"

"HIDAN YOU KNOW THAT DIDN'T NEED TO BE YELLED I'M RIGHT INFRONT OF YOU!"

"...SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

"HIDAN, KAKUZU SHUT UP BEFORE I FRICKEN BLOW YOU UP, UN!"

"DEIDARA DONT YOU DARE BLOW THEM UP INSIDE!, REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED LAST TIME!, take it out side"

"...meanie..." Mumbled Deidara

"you say something?"

"NO LEADER-SAMA!"

"ok then go blow them up...outside"

"HAI, LEADER-SAMA, UN"

"and why the hell are you yelling?"

"...i have...no idea..., un"

"TOBI WANTS TO KNOW WHY WE STOPPED TALKING!"

"TOBI SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Hidan threw several kunai at Deidara...

"HIDAN I'M GUNNA BLO-"

"I SAID OUTSIDE!"

"BUT HE THREW THEM AT ME FOR NO REASON!, UN"

"I WAS AIMING AT TOBI U DIPSHIT!"

"THEN YOU HAVE VERY BAD AIM!, UN"

"I DO NOT"

"YES YO-

"SHUT UP AND TAKE IT OUTSIDE!"

"...hai leader-sama..." both Hidan and Deidara said in unison.

Outside

"wanna go get a drink instead?"

"sure! but your paying, un"

"fine by me" and tosses more then 10 thousand yen and Deidara

"HOLY CRAP! WHERE DID YOU GE-,... nvm, Kakuzu huh?, un"

"yup!" Hidan Replied Cheerfully

"Ok then, lets go before he finds out, un"

"fine by me, lead the way!"

At the Bar

"Hey Babe wanna go out with me?" Slurred Hidan

"...Hidan how much did you drink?, un" asked a very creeped out Deidara

"Not much" replied a still very drunk Hidan

"..i think we should head back..., un'

"but i'm not done!"

"too bad!, un"

"but i gotta go take a piss..." whined Hidan

"... then go"

"...nvm...i'm good..."

O.o

"WTF, UN"

"we can go now"

Just Outside Of The Base

" ummmm..."

"what?, un"

"i forgot the key..."

"...are you still drunk, un..."

"...no..."

"...are you feeling well?, un"

"i feel fine..."

"ok, well then you are an idiot..., un"

"...why...just because i forgot the keys!!" Shouted Hidan

" NO YOU DUNCE, WE HAVE NO KEY!!, WE NEVER HAD KEYS...ok maybe before the Akatsuki life...BUT NOT NOW!!..., UN" Yelled Deidara

"SHUT UP OUT THERE!!" Shouted Kakuzu from inside the base

"ok then smartass how DO you open this door"

"...first you make all these handsigns" Deidara does all the handsigns "then you place your hand on the boulder...then..."

"what?"

"...someone sealed the door..."

Just Outside The Boulder

The cat walk away from the boulder smiling (or at least tried...)

"...wow...your such a smart kitty!" exclaimed Tobi

"lets go get you some food"

Just as he walked away he heard banging on the door (boulder!) looks at it...Meh and walks away...

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**ok it's done took like what a month and a few weeks and yet it still sucks...**

i also need to name the cat...any suggestions?

**R&R**


	3. Chapter 3

**...Ok i finished but only because it's my cats birthday today and this chapter is really short only 259 words...**

**disclaimer:i do not own naruto but i do own the cat**

* * *

"Hellooooooo!?, someone open this fuckin door!" Hidan shouted at the door.

"thats not gunna work, un" groaned Deidara.

"Lets see you try then!"

"maybe i will, un!"

"Ok, lets see you try better!"

"ok i will!, un!"

"Then do it!"

"ok i will, un"

"...just blow up the fucking boulder!"

"...i can't..."

"and why not?"

"the cat took my clay, un"

"...how would yiou know maybe Tobi took it"

Deidara holds up a small piece of paper "read it, un"

"...Dear Deidara...i (the cat) have stolen your clay so you can't blow up the boulder to get inside... ps. you can only un-seal the boulder from the inside...

"...I'M GUNNA KILL THAT STUPID CAT!!"

"and whats worse is that he glues my mouth-hands shut, un"

"...how did that happen..."

"i...have no idea..., un"

"...heh the cat got you goo- what was that?"

"what was what?, un"

"that" and they could here from the inside "DEIDARA-SENPAI WHERE ARE YOU!!"

"...thats Tobi, un"

"TOBI! TOBI UNSEAL THIS FUCKING DOOR!!"

"Hidan-san?"

"YES TOBI IT'S ME!! NOW OPEN THIS DOOR!!"

Tobi un-seals the door "what were you guys doing out here?"

"...the cat sealed the door..., un"

"why didn't you blow it open then?"

"the cat glued my hand mouths shut and took my clay..."

"...you always have extra clay with you"

"...the cat also took those, un"

"...whatever come inside then"

"oh thank Jashin i need to go take a piss..."

"...again?, un"

"...i have a small bladder"

"...whatever, un"

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**Lol, see told you really short chapter**

**i'll try and get another chapter up...soon...**

**R&R**


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